The other day, I was catching up with an old friend over happy hour wine and bruschetta downtown. We were talking life, goals, history, hopes and eventually love. And she asked me something no one else has.
“So why are you getting married?”
My first thought was “Ummm, isn’t it obvious? I’m getting married for the same reason millions of other people get married.” I was taken back by the obviousness of it all. But the longer it sat with me the deeper it settled… why was I getting married?
“Ya know, we’re in love and we want to take advantage of the legal protections it affords.”
Bullshit. I mean, not total bullshit. Getting married has loads of emotional, financial, and legal perks (I for one am particularly thrilled about him being unable to testify against me in court ;). But I knew that wasn’t the real reason. On my way home this question kept shadowing me, refusing to back down until I was able to articulate this feeling I couldn’t shake. And eventually, I had it.
I’m marring him because he deserves to be my husband.
As completely arrogant and self-righteous as that sounds, let me explain.
This man is the best man I’ve ever met. He’s creative and imaginative and so so intelligent. He challenges me mentally and isn’t afraid to spar and debate. He’s articulate in a way that I find fascinating and refreshing. He senses when something is wrong before I do and helps me work through it. He seems to know when to push me and when to tease me and when to stop me and when to take my waist and dance with me in the kitchen. He loves my nerdy, dorky antics. He’s tall and handsome (re: smokin hot) and I never feel as safe as when I’m with him. He makes me feel beautiful and treasured and worthy of it all.
Without his conscious doing, he’s helping me to become a better person and a better partner, a partner who communicates her needs in a healthy way and truly listens when it’s someone else’s turn. He makes me want to become a better everything- girlfriend, writer, artist, friend, daughter, sister, aunt etc. He believes in me even when I don’t believe in myself. He is dedicated to me and our future family and the life goals we have, both as individuals and as a team. I want to be worthy of his love. I want to give him all of the support and humor and joy and life that he gives me every day. He deserves that. He is unlike any other and I want him to have a place in my life unlike any other.
I want him to be my husband.